Wednesday, 26 October 2011


I can't look in the mirror. Few months ago I was wearing a size 40 (USA 10 UK 12). Now I'm wearing size 36 (USA 6 UK 8). I know I wear 36 because I buy such clothes. I'm trying them in the changing rooms, and they fit me. I'm buying them, wearing them. But when I look into the mirror I see a girl that wears the size 44 (USA 12 UK 14). I don't know why.

I'm just standing there, looking at myself. I'm so disguisting. All of that fat all aruond... The only things I like in my body are collarbones. Of course they're surrounded by fat. But I can say that they'll be looking nice when I'll be slim at last.

I think it's because of my body. It's constructed to wear the size 32 (USA 2 UK 4) and when I'm wearing 36 (USA 6 UK 8) I look like a whale. Or better, like a godzilla ;)


I'm so scared that when I'll buy the scale (Friday) I'll realize I'm fatter then I was 3 weeks ago (last weighting). And when it'll be more than 132 Ibs I'll be sad.

But at the other hand, I can hardly wait to have it at last. 


  1. think positive ok? :)

  2. I know how you feel, I see exactly the same :/ when I was size 4-6 uk I looked the same weight as everyone else, like closer to the weight I should be, even though I was two sizes smaller than the rest of them. Or maybe that's just BDD talking :P
    The more we try, the better we will look, so like *star* said - keep positive :)
    Lottie x

  3. Thanks girls. I feel better today.