Monday 17 October 2011

Mother

This Friday will be dreadful. My mother's arriving. And she'll stay for the whole weekend. I just don't understand this situation. My situation. My whole family life is a game. I just have to play it for all of the time, taking all of the chances, trying not to give up.  And, in the end, I know it, I'll never win. Don't even know what the prize is. There's no prize, I suppose. Just pain.

I hate it. I have to plan all of conversations, meetings, have to know precisely what I can say them and what I can't. And that's not what a family should be. I'm tired, just tired of it. 

When I'm talking to her (to mother, not mom, or mommy, just mother) I'm feeling I'm 5 years old again and I mean nothing. Nothing to her.

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